The room descended into absolute madness. While the conversation was supposed to be about the ethical issues that plague D1 college athletics, everyone around me was yelling about who was the best basketball player in the country. Glancing around the noisy classroom, there was one obvious difference between me and my peers: I was the only girl.

I relaxed into my chair and observed my surroundings, patiently trying to figure out how to make myself heard in this classroom. But I was well prepared for the pandemonium. 

For the past two summers, I have worked at Camp Ramapo for Children, a residential summer camp for young people with social, emotional, and learning differences. To someone who isn’t a part of the Ramapo community, it seems like unorganized chaos. In reality, Ramapo just has its own rhythm. 

I met Mia during my first summer at Ramapo. She is 11 years old and suffers from severe learning differences, causing her to have intense outbursts of anger. Mia is extremely bright and kind, but can easily become distressed and downright irate. My co-counselors and I took turns following her when she ran off, keeping her off the other campers during episodes of rage, and trying to soothe her at night when she became especially unsettled. I spent two weeks giving her big smiles when she hit me, offering hugs when she screamed, and giving her all the extra attention I could garner when she became overly aggressive with her peers. Over the course of this period, Mia and I developed a connection which made her more comfortable around me. As we became closer, engaging with her became less difficult.

On the last day of camp, Mia was badgering my co-counselors, keeping them from the task of packing each campers’ belongings. I was one of the counselors responsible for entertaining campers. I approached Mia and suggested, “Let’s take a walk.” We set off slowly down the trail without speaking. Eventually, I asked her if she’d had a good time at camp. She looked up at me solemnly and said, “I love it here. I can’t wait to come back.” I smiled at her, reaching for her hand. She took mine and squeezed it as if to communicate her true sadness at leaving. We walked hand in hand back to the bunk, in contented silence. Communicating with Mia required more patience, empathy, and tenacity than I’d ever had to muster. 

In my Ethics in Sports class, I had to summon similar patience. I’d never experienced such a classroom environment, struggling to even get a word in. Suddenly, there was a lull in the shouting, and I began to speak. My male peers were surprised to hear my voice. Hesitating slightly, I said, “While universities don’t necessarily need to hand their student-athletes a paycheck, no athlete should be struggling to have their basic needs met. If the commitment of playing for a D1 sports program prohibits athletes from being able to get jobs to support themselves, the school should be making sure that the player has a place to live, food, clothing and school books, at the very least.” Everyone around me quieted down, surprised that the girl had spoken. 

In all my years as a student, I had never been “the only” in a class. The gender makeup of this group led to a distinct dynamic that was new for me. At first, I found it challenging to speak up. Beyond being less informed about the subject matter, I felt somewhat out of place. But as the course progressed, I exercised the skills that I learned at Camp Ramapo to make my voice heard. Communicating with Mia and being patient with her during arduous times molded me into a better version of myself, a version who could ultimately thrive in the all-male classroom environment. 

Eliza Ross, a graduate of the Ethical Culture Fieldston School, will be a freshman at the University of Chicago. 

We will not be holding our Martha’s Vineyard Summer Essay Writing Workshops in person in August due to Coavid. However we will be holding workshops via Zoom in August that can serve students from around the world. The workshops will be held on the following dates:

Session One: Monday/ Tuesday, August 3 and 4, 10:30-2:30. 

Session Two: Wednesday/Thursday, August 12 and 13, 10:30-2:30. 

Session Three: Monday/Tuesday, August 17 and 18, 10:30-2:30.

For enrollment information, email us at appointments@writeforthefuture.com. To read testimonials from parents and students regarding our workshops, click here.  To read testimonials regarding our Individual Program, click here. 

The cost of the workshop is $450.00 per session.

Students in our individual program are allowed to attend the workshop at no cost. 

Our individual programs begin with a free consultation. For enrollment details and pricing or to schedule a free consultation, email us at appointments@writeforthefuture.com. 

My light-up velcro sneakers sank into the plush carpet of a large room on the second floor of my preschool.  Like every other small child in the room, we were all intimidated by one another, and stayed close to the safety of our parents’ legs.  Around each child was one man and one woman. When I looked up at mine, I saw two women; I saw my moms. 

While I had seen fathers before, I had not been surrounded by them and their sons, my peers.  I knew that my grandfather was my mom’s father, yet seeing them around my friends somehow felt different.  That first day, I realized that my friends had something that I did not. What’s the difference between two moms and one mom and one dad?  The question lingered as I grew up. I witnessed father-son interaction and sometimes felt like I was missing something. 

“Don’t quit! Be a man!” I heard an animated father yell as his son was being pinned to the mat.  In high school, I joined the wrestling team with my closest friends, who seemed to be on the team to please their fathers.  My friends had done it all — Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, boxing, and wrestling — every time with their fathers in the stands pushing them to be better, stronger, manlier.  I was envious.

I looked to my cousin William as a role model.  When I was thirteen, I visited him in Atlanta, determined to bond and gain his acceptance.  We had gone to a shooting range to celebrate his law school graduation. He placed the small revolver in my hand, and I fired, pretending the recoil was not jarring. Afterwards, he suggested we go to his favorite restaurant, a local steakhouse.  I had not eaten meat in a year. Without mentioning my recent vegetarianism, I made an exception to taste the food about which he raved. Yet, after the trip, I began eating meat. In doing so, I altered my taste to be like him.

A few months passed, and Thanksgiving rolled around.  At dinner, we talked about my parents’ coming out stories which shifted my perspective on identity.  I had heard Anita’s coming out story dozens of times, but Marie-Elena always remained quiet on the subject.  Finally, she shared that in trying to be someone whom her parents would approve of, she never had a chance to come out to her mother before she died.  In her story, though obviously different from my own, I drew multiple parallels to my inner struggles.  I had imposed a one-dimensional masculine character on myself. Fearing how others would perceive me, I sought to hide parts of my true self that might not align with that character.  Through my mom’s story, I realized that I’m not the only one who has ever tried to craft a specific image to satisfy others. I came to understand the value of being authentic. 

Although I’ve grown to see the value of authenticity, I recognize my search for a stereotypical masculine self as a formative experience; it was a process that made me aware of my true identity.  Masculinity is what I make of it; I shouldn’t seek out how society defines it. Yet, I am not done defining it as it pertains to me.  

I still see my peers interact with their fathers and ask myself, “Would I be different if I had a father?” The answer is yes, I would be different.  Maybe I would still wrestle. Maybe I would have never entertained the thought of becoming a vegetarian. But now I’ve become aware of my overcompensating and noticed the absurdity of that question.  Having two moms cannot be reduced to either good or bad. It is, however, something different. Difference gave me a chance to see things from another perspective, and because of it, I feel more responsible for my identity and individuality.  

Alexander Romero-Ruffo, a graduate of The Dalton School, will be a freshman at Yale.

By Toni Ann Ocloo

As a young black woman, I discovered my strength as an artist in a home of old white people. I came to Brookdale Senior Center with my sketchbook to share an intimate part of myself — my art — with strangers. In return, they shared themselves with me. I never imagined this exchange would happen here, not in what I once considered to be my Southern hell. The dissonance I perceived between white and black seemingly evaporated in the moment. People were just people. However this revelation did not come in an instance. Rather, it began its maturation from that moment six years ago when I laid on the floor, crying. Wailing as though I lost my whole world.

“Mom, how could you? We’re not just moving. We’re going to the South!” 

Leaving Shelton, CT for Charlotte, NC? Goodbye to my friends. My school. My community. And for what? To move to the region known for slavery and Jim Crow. 

My innocent mind assumed I was leaving my liberal state on a long stairway to Earth’s hell; that my Northern wonderland was in some way immaculate and now shaken from my grasp.  

Seventh grade arrived. I found myself in my first art class, taught by a black man called Mr. Wilson. He was a first in my entire school career in the U.S. I never had a black teacher since third grade, when I moved from Ghana to Shelton. Mr. Wilson became a mentor. Art became my way of engaging and accepting my present. Mr. Wilson emphasized the value of observing real things and people. Naturally, I began to draw what I saw, preferably people. I watched vigilantly as my classmates moved, talked, and behaved. I found myself watching strangers in every place, almost as a way of capturing where I was. In art class, I began to slowly appreciate the small parts of what was becoming my new home. The nameless silhouettes of faces began to transform into people. 

Last year, I decided to paint portraits of the elderly, choosing a place where I was their sheer opposite — black and young. On my first official day of drawing, I sat at a round table across from a group of residents engaging in a playful game of cards. Even from afar, their positive energy soothed my nervousness. 

To determine who was most inviting, my eyes lingered past the faces, watching movements and gestures as cards were passed from hand to hand and as faces grimaced or smiled at certain moves. Soon, my eyes cast on one particular individual. With an exuberant personality, she appeared to be the leader of the group. Her reactions ranged from a cute, childish pout to a braggy smirk. My pencil soon felt the surface of the paper, and my mind was absorbed by her personality. As I continued to draw, she would sneak a peek at me and start blushing, like a child too shy to ask for something. As I continued to draw, my mind wondered about her. My roboticism ceased. I wanted to know who she was, I wanted to know where she had been, and what she had experienced. Every line of her face prompted a new question. What was she like when she was young? What did she see? Absorbed by thoughts, I finished. I didn’t get to question her, but I did engage in long conversations about the past with future subjects. 

Time passed like a moving train. Each person found their way into a metaphysical library of images. Their faces stuck with me, each individual feature defined and indisputable; human faces and bodies became storytellers. 

At Brookdale, I witnessed my concealed ability to experience art’s transformative powers. Nothing supernatural or otherworldly. But I felt that I had obtained another lens through which to view life. Art had become a way for me to not only understand others but myself and my new home.  

Toni Ann Ocloo, a graduate of Charlotte Country Day School, will be a freshman in the Honors College of UNC Chapel Hill in the fall. 

 By Harrison Knox

I take a bite into my burger, and India, my younger sister, spits at me and starts loudly cursing, attracting an audience of stares in the restaurant. 

Why can’t we just be a normal family? 

With that thought, she then spits on Grandpa. I cherish every moment with him as I know that he won’t be around forever. This family dinner with him a few years ago is no exception. However I can’t take India anymore. I get up and leave. 

I was four when India was born. I ran through the hospital hallways imagining a sibling relationship like my friends Ace and Zed, brothers who frequently roughoused with each other. But a year after her birth, I learned that she had a rare chromosomal abnormality. She would require constant medical attention and never mentally mature beyond the age of five. At first I resented her for stealing almost all of my parents’ attention. However, understanding her challenges in the face of my own struggles has been a journey that shaped my maturity.  

In first grade, after being diagnosed with ADD and auditory processing issues, I transferred to Gateway, a school for students with learning differences. By seventh grade, I was ready to return to a mainstream school, yet some of my teachers predicted the worst: You won’t be a strong Math student, especially if you go to a mainstream school. You would have to work extremely hard to be average. 

I could not forget those sentiments when I stared at the screen last spring and saw the 800: a perfect SAT score on Math. There is a lot more than a number to that score. My sister became the backbone of my academic motivation as I grew to realize that I will be responsible for her when my parents are gone. I have to work hard now to be in a position to help her in the future.  

An ugly attack on India captured why I can’t run from the dinner table when she embarasses me. I was watching the news one night and saw India’s bus matron violently shoving her head repeatedly against the seat. The second matron filmed the brutality which went viral and made its way onto local news shows. I felt nauseous flicking through the news channels seeing it over and over. I felt sickly powerless. My head started throbbing in pain as I wondered if this could have been happening for months. If it had, India wouldn’t have been capable of telling us. This propelled me further into my own maturity. All my feelings of annoyance and impatience with her subsided. For the rest of my life, I must make her home the safest place possible as the outside world is unpredictable. I must be prepared to protect her from bullies, who will not only take advantage of her, but might even abuse her. 

My own commitment to India faced a test on Christmas morning last year. She shattered my excitement over presents. She spat on Mum and poked me in the eye. At first, I wanted to forget about the gifts and escape. However, instead I comforted Mum and tried to soothe India out of her outburst. 

“India, if we behave well and open these presents, we can go play soccer in the backyard together.”

After continued consoling, we left the room and kicked the soccer ball. 

My proudest moment as her brother is at her soccer class for special needs children where I volunteer on Saturdays. She has the best shot, the best dribbling, and is the athletic star of the class. India is almost like a mini me: whatever I play, she tries to play as well. She wants to be like me. Outside of our relationship, her influence on me continues to grow, teaching me to be patient and sympathetic to others. 

Harrison Knox, a graduate of the Brooklyn Friends School, will be a freshman at USC in the Fall. 

We have also expanded our writing programs for students in grades 5-10 and for college students. We have worked with students from around the country in our expository program. If interested, please email us at appointments@writeforthefuture.com. Also for enrollment information, email us at appointments@writeforthefuture.com.

To read testimonials from parents click here. 

Attention Juniors and Parents: Now is a good time for an introduction to the process of writing a winning college admissions essay. Our program starts with a free consultation.  For more information, email us at appointments@writeforthefuture.com. To read testimonials regarding our Individual Program, click here. To read essays from Write for the Future’s Class of 2019, click on the schools they are attending: Barnard, Brown, Colgate, Duke, Harvard, Lehigh,  Pomona, Stanford, Tufts, UCLA, UPenn, Yale. 

Graduation Season is here! Honoring our seniors is even more important in these times. This year, we continue the Essay of the Week tradition in celebrating the students in our program four years ago. They are now graduating from college. Four years ago, Christien Williams, a 2016 graduate of the Charlotte Country Day School, selected MIT among several choices. He will receive a BS in Computer Science from MIT later this month. Next year, he will begin a Fulbright Fellowship for graduate study in Paris progra and is graduating in a few weeks. To read his Common App Essay on Huffington Post, click here. 

Congratulations to Write for the Future’s Class of 2020. Their decisions were due today and we have heard from most of them about their choices. Here is the latest tally of where they are going: Brown-4, Dartmouth-2, Hampton-2, Harvard-2, Howard-2, Morehouse-2, University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill-2, American, Boston University, Bowdoin, Cornell, Georgetown, Harvard School of Business (MBA Program), New York University, Northwestern, Ohio State University, Syracuse, Tufts, University of Arizona, University of Chicago, University of Maryland, University of Richmond, University of Southern California, University of Wisconsin, Madison, Washington and Lee, Yale.

by Jillian Medina

Pain shot up my spine and tension consumed my muscles. I relaxed as the nurse removed the long, cold needle from my back and prepped me for surgery. A few hours earlier, I asked the nurse why she was poking an IV into my hand. 

“Do you want to stay awake during surgery?” she replied sarcastically. 

Without missing a beat, I nodded. “Actually, I do.” 

Nobody expected that response. The anesthesiologist warned me that to stay awake during the surgery, I needed a spinal injection to paralyze me from the waist down. The surgeon said that no one ever requested to observe their own surgery and the entire surgical team applauded my courage, recounting stories of tough football players having the same surgery who had shuddered at the mere sight of a needle. Meanwhile, I shrugged. The wonder of witnessing my surgery in action overshadowed the image of blood-covered scissors and scalpels. I never allowed fear to restrain me, even in front of a large audience. 

As a member of Lawrenceville’s Diversity Council, I organized a reflection week following the Charlottesville Neo-Nazi rally that concluded with a candlelight vigil where community members shared their thoughts. By the time Zach, the president of Young Republicans, approached the microphone sporting a “Trump 2016” pin over his black blazer, I could already see scowls forming on the faces of my peers. 

Zach was a conservative needle in a liberal haystack at my “woke” school, where people of his political standing simply kept their heads down. I felt uneasy as Zach started by condemning the “overblown crusade” against hate groups. Before Zach could finish his sentence, another student interrupted, heckling him for simply voicing his opinion. Others followed, piling on insults and challenging his right to speak. Feeling under attack, Zach rushed out of the circle.

In that moment, I knew it would be easy for me to take a crack at Zach during his public flogging. My friends would have snapped approvingly before I handed the whip to someone else. Instead, when I stepped up to speak, I took a deep breath, filling my body with the same amount of courage I needed in the operating room. I urged the audience to treat everyone with respect, regardless of political standing. 

Looking around at my wide-eyed peers, hoping my voice was not shaking too much, I sensed anger and betrayal in their furrowed eyebrows — after all, I was a leading liberal voice on campus. How could I encourage such offensively conservative views? However, I knew Zach deserved to speak and I could not let fear of displeasing my peers silence me into compliance.

Immediately after my remarks, I felt a lump form in my throat as student after student maintained that Zach’s views were unacceptable. The echo of liberal voices bouncing around the circle by the end of the event reminded me that most people had gained nothing from the event beyond reaffirmation of their previous opinions. Just as it was my turn to share my parting thoughts, I got my second wind. I asserted that thought-provoking conversations cannot happen if everyone with a minority opinion is driven away. This time, there was no outbreak of critical responses. Some students even nodded in agreement. 

Later, I thanked Zack for contributing a different perspective, invited him to future discussions and was glad to hear him speak out from the crowd at the Young Democrats Gun Control Forum months later.

That experience is reminiscent of the choice I made in my hospital bed, yet the physical fearlessness almost seems trivial when compared to the question that haunted me after speaking up for Zach. Was I being careless in giving a voice to opinions I viewed as harmful to my school and the world? That question haunted me, though the values of free speech and the expansion of political discourse at my school were powerful as well.